How do we recover from failed attempts? How do we rebound against waves of the unsuccessful? How to we occupy the space between giving up on one thing and moving on to another?
Certainly, there should be time to grieve. But in a world that keeps telling us to not look back and to regret nothing, how do we hold on to what was important and wisdom-giving as the tide of time washes away our foiled plans?
These are the questions I’ve been asking myself.
Wallowing in the near tangible mire of self-pity, I have been exercising restraint and trying desperately to not think bitter thoughts and harbor the stores of disappointment, rage, confusion, and general distress that would be so easily housed in the places my hopes and fair weather dreams have all but deserted.
Encouragement seems to do little except make me wonder fruitlessly, why if I did work so hard and sacrifice so much I reaped none of the promises.
When will this be over? That question nags at the back of my restless mind. How long will this keep hurting until it’s finished? What opportunities are around the corner ready to provide distraction and soothe the ache of heart-wrenching catastrophe?
Grief is good and healthy and things like this deserve a bit of sadness. Getting swept up in the failure is when it gets dicey.
Walking that thin line until it thickens up will be the task at hand for as long as it takes.
photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/tiomo/163269208/”>tkosig</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>
advice, anxiety, complex trauma, failure, grief, grieving, healing, mental illness, recovery, success, suffering, Trauma